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So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
Just used the holiday card with your kid`s face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
The best time to re evaluate your life is when you find your self awake at 3 am reluctantly nodding yes to the questions being asked at the beginning of an infomercial
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.