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Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis