Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea Iām not the teacher.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.