Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…