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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don´t do dumb stuff is fired.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?