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Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.