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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
H&R Block said I won`t get nearly as much back in taxes this year because apparently the neighbors want to claim their own children.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.