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The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you ... Priceless
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.