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If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.