Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
:): The Bipolar smiley face