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My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
New rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I`m guaranteed at least one attempt on trying to trip you.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
I really hope my spirit animal is a bear because well I would love to hibernate all winter.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.