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Trust me, you want me medicated!!
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
My internet goes out more than I do.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..