Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
Been there, done that. allegedly
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.