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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
I got married so that I can be autocorrected even when my phone is off.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
Sometimes it looks like Iām flashing gang signs, but really Iām just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
Very little scares me. So does very big.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
You get wasted, swear to much, and your morals are questionable. You`re everything I`m looking for in a friend.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.