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Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook?
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.