Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
(Facebook Diamond encrusted Platinum Account required to view this status update)
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.