Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.