Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
I asked my girlfriend if she was ok with me buying her a ring. She said "nothing would make me happier!" So I got her nothing.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.