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Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.