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Most problems can be solved with nudity
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.