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What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don`t. So, from now on I`m only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavier’s school had the power to heal a dude’s legs.
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1