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Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
I have a black belt in leather
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about