Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don`t use words like "East."
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes off 9 minutes of your life.. According to my calculations i should have died in 1732.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
awesome collection!