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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
i dont have drain bramage.