Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to open the vodka is the smartest.
When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni⦠That folks, is what drugs do to you.
is spending my childrenΒ΄s inheritance.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
I hate when the remote is way over there
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.