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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...