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" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.