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Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision Iβve ever made.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Get real. No oneβs going to form a single line if the buildingβs on FIRE.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
you have lips β¦.. i have lips β¦β¦ interesting
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
I think itβs pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
Experience is something you donβt get until just after you need it.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.