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Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
Trust me, I am a liar.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.