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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think sheβs a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
I stopped going to AA because all of their stories were about how they hit rock bottom by waking up next to me.
When people tell me that Iβve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: βAnd so should you!β
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
Check this one out.........1
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.