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So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
I told my wife that I have a sexual satisfaction guarantee policy. If you`re not completely satisfied, we`ll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
“The darndest things.” -kids
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong