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WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Weird how βnewsβ and βfact checkingβ are treated like two separate concepts these days.
Before McDonald`s I bet "don`t buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.