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I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there