Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.