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I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?