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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?