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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.