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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.