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I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Pizza Consumed column.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page