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How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
about love
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist