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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.