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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2