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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There`s like 10 women to each man and they`re already there looking for things they don`t need.
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.