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You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?