Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment