Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, I´ve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.