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Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
You know that 200-foot high expansion bridge you drove over today? Just remember that it was built by the lowest bidder.
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
How long does it take to get obsessed?
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?