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My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
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Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.