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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up