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Running on two hours of sleep I’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.