Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
My pants are 75% off.
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
I don`t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don`t try to run her life and I don`t try to run mine.
Nothing is truly lost until your mom can`t find it.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject