Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
I typed bitch into my GPS and guess what? I`m in your drive way. Vroom, vroom mother f*%ker.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I`ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.
Go ahead caller 9!!
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but Iām going to be too busy sitting on mine
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."