Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Trust me, you want me medicated!!
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
I think, therefore i`m single.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch