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Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
DATING TIP: never reveal how many cats you have.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.