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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
Safe words are for quitters.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.