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Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"