Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
Some days are just not meant to be productive.
My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.