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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
I`m running out of reasons to call into work. Do you think "emergency circumcision" is a good excuse?
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.