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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
I laugh in the face of normal.
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.